Doing a bit of grieving and quietness this day’s end.
Watched the TV news (kind of) last night… there’d been a conflict and stabbing of two young men earlier that afternoon, in a suburb/park not far from where I work. I only heard the reporter mention the name of one of the victims, it sounded as if it could have been a young man I’ve been working with the past few weeks. My concerns were raised.
I drove to work this morning thinking I’d need to follow-this up by a couple of phone calls when I got into the office.
Went to p/u one of our work vehicles from the place where our vehicles are garaged/parked securely after hours, we have 4 that need to be brought around to our office parking each morning. A routine that is done each work day.
Most unexpectedly, there was a dead man (half naked) lying on the footpath when I got around to the side street. The police and ambulance arrived, and the street was blocked off, I had to leave the work car where it was, and went back to my office, feeling somewhat disturbed.
I spoke about the news story I’d heard to one of my colleagues, who said they’d heard that the man had died in hospital during the night, on their car radio/news this AM.
After several phone calls, a colleague was able to get someone from the TV station to confirm the name they had mentioned the night b4. My worse fears, gut-feeling was correct.
He was one of my clients; a young man of 23 yo, stabbed in a racial conflict after being set-upon by a group of 8 men. He has a most beautiful daughter of 3 you whom I’d met, and his partner (the girl’s mother) only young herself (early 20s) is one of the most charming young ladies I have had the pleasure of meeting in recent times.
The grief and anger, and loss I felt throughout most of today nearly flawed me. I cancelled 2 other client appointments scheduled for today, and by the arvo was feeling tired and “old” …
There is much more I could say, but won’t.. the details and circumstance, the context of this young man’s life are known to me, as I was his Counsellor (I’m a Men & Family Relationships counsellor by profession) … last week he said on leaving that I was his “friend” (in my mind I represented “hope”) … yesterday he’d been into our office (reception) earlier in the day, and I wasn’t available … our volunteer clerk gave me his message, and said he’d be back later … 6 hours later he was fighting for his life (unbeknown to me, as I headed home for the day) … I never did get to see nor speak with him.
I miss his most beautiful smile, and the further opportunity to develop the trust he was learning through our connection.
Yes folks, racism is alive and vicious here in Australia, let there be no doubt nor excuses …
Today I went to work, seen a dead man lying on the street, and confirmed the tragic stabbing/murder of a young man whom I never got to say goodbye too … today death came calling … and I am “tired” of so much death, unnecessary, spiteful, tragic and callous …
(Journal Entry ~ Nov 2009) DjA “Crowmanic”
Responses from Rb Members
Juilee Pryor: this is awful … for death comes like a thief in the night so be ever ready and live each day like the last….this is not your doing although it’s the reality of your day…. your pain must be immense at the moment…. my thoughts are with you…..xx
DevineDayDreams: oh my god Crow! that is so horrible, I can so totally understand the way you are feelig right now, these things are so devastating, and pointless, it makes you lose faith in humanity alltogether. I am a psychiatrical nurse and know what it feels like when you lose someone you are/feel responsible for….there are many things I could say as well but I won’t, words are meaningless…..I am sending you BIG HUGS…so sorry Crow….so deeply sorry…..
Enivea: I know your job has stresses enough without the addition of circumstances such as this….too many senseless acts every where….lighting a candle…
helene ruiz: Racism exists and lives on in all parts of the world, it is ignorance i fear most…such a waste of life, and destruction of a family …. these kinds of senseless murders result in torn families, more poverty, provoke more violence…uuuuuggggghhhhh….so sad
Gregory John O’Flaherty: Too Sad …. Australia has turned a blind eye to the issue of Race hate for too long. It is as if the politicians want the problem… What have they done about the White Power nutters and Bigots on the Air Ways ….. nothing ….. but gee the tourism adds look good. My heart goes out to you Crowmanic ! Fight the Good Fight !
Umbeijo: He passed from this world knowing love and hope because of what you brought to his life and your relationship with him will continue now that he is back in the Spirit world. It is no coincidence he travelled to Trust before his passing… The Ancestors would be waiting with open arms as another battle weary Warrior returns home and his love will be a part of the healing for all those who have been affected by this tragedy.
jakeperslow: the acrid stench of racism prevails because of ignorance and fear, be kind to yourself Crow, and focus on the posative things that doing your job brings to others, sorry to hear about the sad loss of your friend….jake
JRGarland: I’ve gotten out of the city for much of the very reason you have described here. I am not strong enough to handle the stresses of day to day living there. Here I can create a world far away from the harsh realities found in the cities.You have a powerful job there, helping people make positive changes in their lives. I admire your strength and work you do. The best I can do is offer an escape from the realities that you face. I wish that I could do more.
DragonFlyer: I am so glad you wrote and posted this my friend. There are far too many who will not admit to the reality of racism… My thoughts are with you, the young man who has lost his life, and most especially with his partner and little daughter… as well as the unknown man who lost his life… hugs. Feel the flow of the connection of all things – it is still there, even in times of death – in this case – an unnatural part of life… xxx
annamora: .. yes …you are right …no surprises in this story …. but do not let it get you down … please … I am glad I could read about your work and about your day … about the reality of violence …. thank you …. surely, it’s time to grieve …. just do not let that get you down … will be thinking of you Crow
Wendy Slee: So many questions, so few answers, just seems like a world without hope, at times……a world so cold and sad…. I feel the depth of your despair, your weariness…….. I got tears reading your story and offer my condolences for the loss of all that might have been, not the least of all was “hope”……. hugs……